Lately, Amit Shah and BJP are on a spree to get candidates from all across the party lines despite their ideological differences and in some cases even criminally accused background. Post Loksabha elections of 2019 and resounding victory with 303 MPs, BJP has shifted the power balance completely. Using the power, BJP now wants to tilt the regional power balance in various states.
This has pushed its workers to a weird phenomenon, instead of opposition, BJP is seeing major flack from its own supporters! These outrages mostly range from unwanted people joining, miscreant events, reactions of random people, inaction of BJP in <fill in every RW’s own topic of interest> Obviously huge uproar from RW can be seen today when Alpesh Thakor joined BJP. He’s been accused of fanning violence between communities and making outrageous remarks like Modi eats Rs 80,000/- worth Mushrooms to become fair among other things.
We have got leaked pages from Amit Shah’s diary from our sources. A notable remark can be found in the diary:
“Most of the times these supporters are seen outraging for a day or two over a issue and then forget forever. Very useful. hmm.”
We also saw a schedule in the diary, comments in bracket by #TeamFLOP:
Let Alpesh Thakor join and let supporters outrage
Divert the outrage by making Ajaj Khan (Small time actor, known for communal tiktok videos and multiple arrests)
Divert the outrage generated by joining of Ajaj Khan by a speech in parliament
Find more people from other parties
No wonder, his supporters call him Modern day Chanakya, what a masterstroke.
#TeamFLOP members idling away in the post-truth, outrage-driven world have let their boredom take over their senses & decided to use Set Theory to explain the varied types of people that are found on Social Media.
How do different folks view the same structures & how much influence they think they can exert over these structures? These aspects are captured in a ‘sets‘ format. We have profiled 3 types of people with variations on these parameters – The overlap, the absence of certain structures in some sets and the different universal sets.
#TeamFLOP members were enjoying a late Friday night after a long Diwali celebration involving Contempt Dissent. Some team members logged into FB to find MemriMan Jummelal ji doing his thing. The conversation thereafter burst out sparkling into so many directions as if it were a Diwali flowerpot ought to prove a point to the overlords..! Read on –
The Minister of the Moment is, undoubtedly, Dr. Hersh Bardhan, the Minister for Environment, Forest and Climate Change, among other portfolios. When TeamFLOP approached him for an exclusive interview, the Minister readily agreed to share his views. We made it clear to the Minister, as clear as the Delhi sky immediately after Diwali, that we would not shy away from asking him tough questions.
When The Djinn approached him the next day for the explosive exclusive, Dr. Hersh Bardhan was seated comfortably in a green-colored sofa, wearing a loose-fitting shirt with a Modi Jacket over it. The Djinn refused the offer for green tea, and went right ahead with the questions.
Firstly, let me thank you, Dr. Bardhan, for singlehandedly cleaning up the Delhi air. You have been called the “Archenemy of Asthma”, the “Dog’s Best Friend”, and even the “Dust Buster”.
I am honored at the love that people all over the country have showered on me, but I must say that this is not a singlehanded effort, not an individual effort – it is a veritable team work.
Could you tell us about the journey, Dr. Bardhan, for every success has one?
I was born in Phatak Teliyan, Turkman Gate, and grew up in the lap of my Muslim neighbors. I have seen from close quarters…
(Politely coughing and interrupting) Dr. Bardhan, I mean, the journey of the cracker ban, if you please.
(Slightly annoyed) Of course! Well, my Ministry had the data on the various sources of pollution over the years. Using the latest in big data analytics, we zeroed in on crackers as the major source, and approached the Hon’ble Supreme Court for a complete ban.
Were you surprised that the Court did not accept a complete ban?
I respect the decision of the Hon’ble Supreme Court, and while a complete ban would have been the best, there are ample provisions in the judgment to make complete ban of crackers a reality by next year.
You said that a complete ban would be the best, but best for who, Dr. Bardhan?
(Slightly angry) Best for the Environment, of course! Who else would this benefit?
I don’t know, Dr. Bardhan, and hence I am asking you. Based on the data we have, about 40% of the particulate matter is coming from just road dust, 20% from vehicles, and the rest from other sources such as industrial and domestic activities. Why were crackers singled out?
I commend you for researching on the data. However, what matters more than the data is how you interpret the data.
Could you please explain, Dr. Bardhan?
Data Analysis on the Sources of Pollution
(Dr. Bardhan shows a print-out of a bar graph, which is reproduced here with his kind permission) You see, we approached the party’s IT cell to help us with data analysis, since they deal with numbers every single day and convert them into bars and charts and pies and percentages. As you could clearly see from their results, crackers overshadow all other problems.
(Utterly confused) Dr. Bardhan, but you have unnecessarily raised the bar for crackers. Isn’t this really fudging the data?
Not really, but we lowered the bar for the others. (chuckles)
If you say so, Dr. Bardhan, we would gladly accept that you have lowered the bar. Now, moving on to the topic of “green crackers”, where are they?
I was born in Phatak Teliyan, Turkman Gate, and grew up in the lap of my Muslim neighbors. I have seen from close quarters…
(Coughing, not so politely, and interrupting) Dr. Bardhan, the “green crackers”, if you please.
(Annoyed) I have instructed CSIR labs to develop “green crackers” which would be noiseless and smokeless crackers. I am sure the kids would love them once they are around.
When would these noiseless and smokeless crackers be available, Dr. Bardhan?
We are just waiting for the National Education Policy to be completed by Shri Javdekar…
I think I misheard you, Dr. Bardhan. Did you say that you are waiting for the NEP? Why?
You heard me right, and I must say that I am appalled at the level of your intelligence that you cannot link the two. The NEP would formulate the guidelines for celebrating festivals that cause pollution. What we are doing right now, in an ad hoc way rather, is indoc…instructing children in every school to take an oath to protect the environment.
Will this include festivals from all religions, Dr. Bardhan?
I was born in Phatak Teliyan, Turkman Gate, and grew up in the lap of my Muslim neighbors. I have seen from close quarters…
(Interrupting without coughing) Coming back to the issue at hand, how are you working with the alleged government in Delhi to reduce pollution?
Government in Delhi? My dear friend, the issue is not the government in Delhi, but crackers during Diwali. Aren’t you listening to what I am saying, or do you have an agenda?
Well, let us leave the question of who has an agenda for a moment, Dr. Bardhan. Why should the entire country suffer just because one city is polluted?
When there were massive floods in Kerala, didn’t the entire country contribute to its relief? So it is that when Delhi has massive pollution, the entire country should be involved. Further, the future of our kids is in our hands – they are entitled to lead a greener, cleaner life, and the least we could do is stop bursting crackers and wasting colored water.
We are hearing reports about the Police arresting thousands across India for bursting crackers in violation of the Court ruling, and this even includes parents whose children were just having some fun. Aren’t you snatching the fun away from the festival, Dr. Bardhan?
A law is a law, my dear friend. What do you expect the Police to do? Just stand there and allow the little miscreants to defy the Law? We need them to grow up as responsible citizens, not petty criminals and noise terrorists.
Terrorists, eh? Isn’t that harsh, Dr. Bardhan? Some people are using this law to settle personal scores, not to mention, religious scores too.
Well, this should teach them to behave properly with their neighbors the next time, whichever religion they belong to.
On a different note, Dr. Bardhan, does the Prime Minister endorse your stance on banning crackers during Diwali?
The Prime Minister is working relentlessly for uplifting the poor people of India. With Prime Minister Jan Dhan Yojana alone, appropriately linked with Aadhaar, he has ensured that…
(Interrupting abruptly) I take it then, Dr. Bardhan, that you do not want to answer this question. So let me ask you this: with the 2019 elections around the corner, don’t you think this obstinate stance towards Hindu festivals would cost you a lot of votes?
Firstly, Hindus should realize that their festivals have always considered fun at the expense of the Environment. If Hindus think about this calmly instead of arrogantly, they would realize that they are making the world a better place for everyone to live. The Constitution does not allow Hindus to be adamant about their festivals.
Well, those are courageous views, Dr. Bardhan, and I agree with the last point anyway. Given that we are running out of time, just like your party, do you have any closing words?
I was born in Phatak Teliyan, Turkman Gate, and grew up in the lap of my Muslim neighbors. I have seen from close quarters…
I know you would not agree with me on the title, but for the benefit of the few who I want to convince, I did not use the more emphatic title, “Why Javdekar should be the Next Prime Minister.” For many, there is not even a need of any article to support this view, this certainty, which is perhaps the reason why you have not found any article on this till now.Continue reading “Why Javdekar Could Be The Next Prime Minister”
